


but how could i sleep?

by wandasmaximoffs



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Multi, either way, or gc fic??, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-11-20 19:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11341980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandasmaximoffs/pseuds/wandasmaximoffs
Summary: pRetty:there are many reasonable explanations herepRetty:1) hes suddenly gone fuqcking BLINDpRetty:b) sumone has taken his phone n is tryna fucqkin KILL MEpRetty:5) aliensbo$$uet:what system are you using that goes from 1 to b to 5





	1. Chapter 1

**granola:** wassup bitches  
  
**granola:** fuq  
  
**granola:** what the FUk is this  
  
**granola:** granola?? _granola??_  
  
**joleebee:** :)

**joleebee:** :))))))

**granola:** FUC JOLY…...BETRAYATED??

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** betrayated

**joleebee:** betrayated

**enjolgay:** betrayated

**bo$$uet:** betrayated

**granola:** JESUS FUQK I GET IT I MISSPELLT BETRAYAL

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** ;) love u

**granola:** no u dont

**joleebee:** granola is good for u you dont eat well enough r

**granola:** u know what else is good for u??

**granola:** MINDIN YA BIZNEZ

 

**_granola_ ** has changed his name to **_PettyBitch_ **

 

**PettyBitch:** how the fucq are you doing that i have my phone

**joleebee:** ;)))) ill never tell ;)))))

**enjolgay:** it fits  
  
**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** savage

**enjolgay:** i mean ur not a bitch but ur pretty  
  
**enjolgay:** objectively  
  
**enjolgay:** aesthetically

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** oh my god i cant believe i get to witness this

**fee:** enjolras honey can you read

**enjolgay:**?

**enjolgay:** oh

**enjolgay:** well my point stands

 

**_PettyBitch_ ** has changed his name to **_pRetty_ **

 

**joleebee:** get it  
  
**joleebee:** cause u put the R in pRetty

**joleebee:** grantaire i made a pun

 

**_pRetty_ ** has sent an IM to **_meme me up (meme me up inside)_ **

 

**pRetty:** LMAO UM !!!11!!  
  
**bo$$uet:** he thinks ur pretty  
  
**joleebee:** and not a bitch

**pRetty:** there are many reasonable explanations here

**pRetty:** 1) hes suddenly gone fuqcking BLIND

**pRetty:** b) sumone has taken his phone n is tryna fucqkin KILL ME

**pRetty:** 5) aliens

**bo$$uet:** what system are you using that goes from 1 to b to 5

**pRetty:** well i figure were in an au now where enjolras thnks im pretty adn numbers dont fukign exist

**bo$$uet:** i see

**joleebee:** but srsly

**joleebee:** u know ur pretty right

**joleebee:** were not making fun of u. ur legit a hot dude

**bo$$uet:** yeah bro ur smokin

**pRetty:** weed maybe

**joleebee:** r :(

**pRetty:** no i know im hot self deprecation isnt cool dont smoke alcohol or drink drugs

**pRetty:** stay in vegetables eat ur school  
  
**pRetty:** i know ur not making fun of me dork ur 2 good 2 pure 4 that

**pRetty:** hmmmm enjolras however hmmmm

**joleebee:** r come ON

 

**_enjolgay_** has sent an IM to **_GaySquad_**

 

**enjolgay:**?

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** 8DDDD

**mombeferre:** yall did not wake me up for this

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** yes we DID ferre r u seeing this SHIT

**enjolgay:** c o u r f e y r a c

**enjolgay:** why is everyone making a big deal

**enjolgay:** i tell feuilly he’s pretty all the time? and joly? and you two?

**enjolgay:** surely ive told r hes pretty before

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** hmmm  
  
**mombeferre:** my god

**enjolgay:** W H A T

**mombeferre:** im going back to sleep i am on call tonight  
  
**mombeferre:** courf hes all urs

**enjolgay:** NO FERRE DONT LEAVE ME W HIM

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** _:)))))))))))_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haaa lmao i really have no excuse for this other than a low-maintence project i can keep up with??? either way i hope yall are enjoying the ride so far  
> i think theyre pretty clear but in case its not and its just my sleep deprivation:  
> granola: grantaire  
> Xx_cOuRf_xX: courf  
> mombeferre: combeferre  
> enjolgay: enjolras  
> joleebee: joly  
> [Support Me on Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/S6S5IQU1)


	2. Chapter 2

**_pRetty_** has changed his name to **_taire_**

 

**taire** has sent an IM to  **_LES AMIS_ **

 

**taire:** there jesus fuck now i have a real name 

**enjolgay:** welcome back c-:

**taire:** ya hi its good to be back c:

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** god this is painful

**taire:** MOVING THE FUQ ON,,,.,.,.,..,,.

**enjolgay:** i have a question

**taire:** shoot

**enjolgay:** why cant u spell the word fuck

**taire:** fukc isnt a word

**taire:** fuqk is an  _ emotion  _

**taire:** its a feeling

**taire:** and emotions dont adhere to ur grammatical rules

**enjolgay:** well  _ gee  _ when u put it  _ that _ way

**taire:** ;)

 

**_taire_ ** has sent an IM to  **_meme me up (meme me up inside)_ **

 

**taire:** ive come to a Conclusion(™)

**joleebee:** ????

**bo$$uet:** ,go on

**taire:** enjolras. is a good person

**taire:** he thinks everyone is pretty

**taire:** he thinks karl marx is pretty if only bc “”””””””””beauty is subjective and isnt just skin deep and everyone is beautiful to someone be it aesthetically or in personality””””””””””

**joleebee:** okay, counter-point

**joleebee:** he thinks ur hot and wants to date u 

**taire:** HA 

**taire:** HA HA H A AH A A H AH

**taire:** ya and pigs can fly n global warming is a myth

**bo$$uet:** ://///////////   
**joleebee:** :///////////////////////

**taire:** im not gonna tear myself up bc enjolras gave me one (1) complement ok im just tryna get to the bottom of it

**taire:** TAIRE myself up 

**taire:** i made a pun……...even in this time of stress…………

 

**_enjolgay_ ** has sent an IM to  **_GaySquad_ **

 

**enjolgay:** do u think he got what i meant

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** gee enjolras idk. did grantaire look at ur message of

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** [16:05:34]: enjolgay: i mean ur not a bitch but ur pretty  
                         [16:05:59]: enjolgay: objectively   
                         [17:06:32]: enjolgay: aesthetically 

**enjolgay:** did u seriously scroll all the way up the chat and c/p my message just to sass me

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** YES

**enjolgay:** idk maybe hes just not ~into me~ that way

**enjolgay:** you know

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** are we in primary school enjolras

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** just go to him. say r do u wanna go out for coffee some time. there easy as pie

**enjolgay:** thats not easy as pie 

**enjolgay:** ur pie is a lie

**enjolgay:** im js i feel like if he was, interested in me that way he’d have asked me out already

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** i have never in my life seen r ask anyone out

**Xx_cOuRf_Xx:** he just stands around and flirts until someone asks HIM out

**enjolgay:** do u often observe grantaires dating habits

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** ya and i have a theory w fee abt it

**enjolgay:** explain

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** ok so, r lore, 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** he thinks hes a sewer monster this is common knowledge SO

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** to avoid the brutal rejection that he THINKS hes gonna garner (not MY opinion HIS opinion im lov him)

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** he is never the asker, he is the Askee

**enjolgay:** grantaire is not a sewer monster tho

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** _ duh _

**enjolgay:** _ huh _

**mombeferre:** are you guys done blowing my phone up now

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** SKFTBJSFRGFJJDHFJDHSFH HAVE U BEEN LURKING THIS WHOLE TIME

**mombeferre:** ya

**enjolgay:** stealth mode

**enjolgay:** SHIT okay i got this

 

**_enjolgay_ ** has renamed the chat  **_LES AMIS_ ** to  **_GRANTAIRE IS NOT A SEWER MONSTER_ **

 

**taire:** oh, 

**taire:** well,,,., thanks??

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaAAAA, these past two chapters have been heavy on the taire love but i swear theres more enjolras love (enjolove lol) in the next chapter  
> the "why cant u spell fuck" is an actual conversation i had w the lovely jamie ( @enjamras on tumblr)
> 
> the usual stuff applies....tip ur fic writers w comments/kudos or hmu on tumblr @ patroclols!
> 
> [Support Me on Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/S6S5IQU1)


	3. Chapter 3

**_enjolgay_ ** has renamed the chat  **_LES AMIS_ ** to  **_GRANTAIRE IS NOT A SEWER MONSTER_ **

 

**taire:** oh, 

**taire:** well,,,., thanks??

**joleebee:** HEAR HEAR!!

**fee:** agreed

**mombeferre:** hes right u know

**taire:** hmmm, sounds fake

**taire:** source?????

**enjolgay:** im citing myself as a source, ur not a sewer monster, ur a valuable human 

**taire:** aw shucks :’)

 

**_joleebee_ ** has sent an IM to  **_meme me up (meme me up inside)_ **

 

**joleebee:** LMAO

**joleebee:** oh my god if that doesnt convince u nothing will

**bo$$uet:** ur not a sewer monster

**taire:** dont Even lads

**joleebee:** HES HITTING ON U IN HIS WEIRD ENJOLRAS WAY

**bo$$uet:** yeah like u hit on him in ur weird grantaire way

**joleebee:** otp

**taire:** uH exsqueeze the fukc outta me

**joleebee:** ur exsqueezed

**taire:** what do u MEAN “”””IN MY WEIRD WAY”””””

**taire:** uh if i remember correctly u flirted w bossuet by writing ur number on a fuckqkign orange

**joleebee:** shhhhhhhHHHhh

**taire:** and just. fricking throwing it at his poor flu ridden frame

**joleebee:** sSSSHSHSHSHSHHS

**bo$$uet:** i mean i did appreciate the vitamin c

**joleebee:** aw babe c:

**taire:** ew

**taire:** my point is ur the weirdos here not me ok

**joleebee:** Incorrect(™) yall are weird as FUCK

**bo$$uet:** ya changing the gc name to declare u not a sewer monster?? cute but weird

**joleebee:** its good flirting for enjolras tho

**bo$$uet** : thats tru

**taire:** ‘’’’’thats tru’’’’ 

**taire:** u have nothing to compare this to

**taire:** name One time u have seen enjolras flirt with Anyone 

**joleebee:** oh my god

**bo$$uet:** r u srs

**taire:** no im r

**taire:** B)))

**joleebee:** ur such a donut jfc

**joleebee:** enjolras flirts. all the time

**bo$$uet:** maybe not ALL the time but

**joleebee:** its been seen

**taire:** receipts or it didnt happen

**bo$$uet:** jfc ok example: that society coordinator shit dude who came to his politics lecture to give a speech on, Something

**joleebee:** he came to the meeting and enjolras,,,,

**bo$$uet:** ah, he was like bambi on ice

**joleebee:** he told him he was “someone who certainly has a face”

**joleebee:** then went like. super red n fucked off to the bathroom

**taire:** f FUCK I REMEBER THAT

**taire:** so when he was doing that weird, leaning thing, WAS THAT FLIRTING

**bo$$uet:** yup

**taire:** oh my god i thought he did smth to his ribs at that fuckn rally?? u know the one the day before

**joleebee:** see. we love him. hes more than this earth deserves tbh

**taire:** agreed

**bo$$uet:** but GOD the man is bad at flirting

**taire:** …….interesting

 

**_enjolgay_ ** has sent an IM to  **_GRANTAIRE IS NOT A SEWER MONSTER_ **

 

**enjolgay:** i think we should throw a party for jehan coming home

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** YES. YES. YES BITCH, YES, 

**fee:** that sounds nice tbh

**enjolgay:** and then one for bahorel on friday ?

**taire:** we could hold off till saturday so it can be a joint “jehan and bahorel welcome home” party

**enjolgay:** thats a lot more logical do that instead^^

**fee:** noah fence but seeing u two agree on shit is……….weird

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** but i want two (2)  parties!!!!

**taire:** bud far be it from me 2 pass up an opportunity to get smashed for a good cause but consider:

**taire:** coursework

**mombeferre:** mm money too

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** :(((((((((((((( 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** FIne i give in to peer pressure, one (1) party

 

**_Xx_cOuRf_xX_ ** has renamed the chat  **_GRANTAIRE IS NOT A SEWER MONSTER_ ** to  **_Party Poopers_ **

 

**mombeferre:** charmaine

**mombeferre:** **charming

**enjolgay:** charmaine

**taire:** charmaine

**joleebee:** charmaine

**bo$$uet:** CHARMAINE

**mombeferre:** um may i LIVE??????

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** dont bully my boyfredn

**mombeferre:** boyfredn

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** C O M B E F E R R E I WAS DEFENDING U 

**taire:** SAVAGE

**fee:** HEATHENS CAN WE STAY ON TOPIC FOR TWO (2) SINGULAR MINUTES PLEASE

**enjolgay:** courf is tryna distract us so we forget we said one party and he can have 2

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** lies n slander?? i demand a retraction

**mombeferre:** ONE party this saturday??

**taire:** all in favor say aye

**joleebee:** aye

**enjolgay:** aye

**joleebee:** bossuets phone just died but he says aye

**mombeferre:** aye

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** reluctant aye

**fee:** aye

**taire:** the ayes have it, saturday is party day with our most beloved n very much missed friendos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah enjolras.....the lov of my life....the worst at flirting....hes relatable to us all i think. tbh also? me, tearing up? thank u all for the lovely comments n kudos n such, i feel #blessed n love u all
> 
> the usual applies, u can tip ur local fic writers w comments/kudos or hmu on tumblr @ patroclols!
> 
> [Support Me on Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/S6S5IQU1)


	4. Chapter 4

**mynameismarius:** good lord

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** MARIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

**enjolgay:** AYYYYYY 

**taire:** WASSUP HOMIE 

**mombeferre:** did chetta manage to salvage ur phone??

**mynameismarius:** ya!!! rotten luck and all but she did right by it

**taire:** idk what u expected to happen by throwing it into punch bowl bud

**mynameismarius:** i got that app u know 

**mynameismarius:** the waterproof iphone app

**enjolgay:** ur  _ kidding _

**mynameismarius:** I WAS DRUNK I DIDNT KNOW ANY BETTER

**taire:** u would have believed it if u were sober too tho right…..

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** oh marius. u beautiful merman angel hybrid. ur stunning

**mynameismarius:** mmm true as that may be i am Not picking you up from yoga 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** how Dare you? suggest that im trying to bum a ride off u? 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** can a man? not show platonic love for his platonic soulmate?

**mynameismarius:** i love u too but yknow im still not picking u up 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** i cant believe ive been Betrayated(tm) in this way

**taire:** jfc maybe one day u assholes will let me Live? 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** and so i turn my shameless flattery to u enjolras

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** u passionate man of immense revolutionary strength

**enjolgay:** you’ve no shame

**enjolgay:** alas flatterer i would but i told r id pick him up from the studios 

**taire:** mhm i have dibs on the enjoltaxi

**enjolgay:** e n j o l t a x i

**taire:** ;)

**fee:** jfc

**fee:** courfeyrac my shift just ended so i’ll come and walk you back?

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** feuilly…….an angel…...a saviour…….a god amongst men……

**mynameismarius:** ur such a drama queen jfc okay FINE feuilly i’ll stop by the yoga place and give u both rides

**mynameismarius:** this is bc i love and appreciate the hardworking and angelic feuilly and NOT  a reward for ur disruptive behaviour courfeyrac

**fee:** :’) marius my hero

**fee:** im actually so glad ngl my feet feel like theyre abt to DROP THE FUCK OFF

**taire:** i didnt know u were working today bro i would have stopped by

**fee:** OH bro lol i wasnt i was volunteering a shift at that new shelter place downtown?? 

**enjolgay:** oh my god feuilly appreciation moment

**enjolgay:** altho tbh every moment should be

**enjolgay:** god we’re all just so lucky 2 know u 

**enjolgay:** ur so hardworking. and ur so kind. jfc ur so KIND FEUILLY 

**taire:** we love u feuilly <3

**mynameismarius:** hes RIGHT we do love u fee

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** god! amongst! men!

**joleebee:** did i hear…...feuilly appreciation

**joleebee:** i have so Much appreciation for ur feuilly

**fee:** G U Y S

**fee:** omg wtf

**fee:** jfc i love u nerds too now, Stop this nonsense

 

**_joleebee_ ** has sent an IM to  **_meme me up (meme me up inside)_ **

 

**joleebee:** SO I HEARD…..ENJOLRAS OFFERED TO COME PICK U UP FROM STUDIOS….

**taire:** do u have a POINT 

**joleebee:** i do

**joleebee:** *clears throat, tunes violin, blows on harmonica*

**joleebee:** R AND E SITTING IN A TREE K I S S S I N G

**taire:** kissing has two s not one

**joleebee:** hmmmmmmm

**taire:** and its not LIKE THAT im entirely sure he just felt Obligated(™)

**taire:** he heard me bitching to ferre about having to walk back w/ the fuckin portfolio and like four canvases

**taire:** and, being a DECENT FUCKEN HUMAN, offered to give me a ride

**taire:** pride has nothing on the fear of lugging four canvases home undamaged dude i was on that

**joleebee:** ur so dense

**taire:** rude

**joleebee:** he offered u a RIDE

**joleebee:** in his CAR

**joleebee:** the care he NEVER DRIVES because of co2 and shit

**bo$$uet:** wazzup

**bo$$uet:** if we’re talking abt how ur dense abt enjolras again i s2g

**joleebee:** BUT HES BEING DENSE

**bo$$uet:** hmm hes right bro if he just felt obligated to help he’d offer to carry some with him

**joleebee:** but he DIDNT

**bo$$uet:** car rides are private and good for talking

**joleebee:** and confessing feelings

**taire:** u 2 are a pair of conspiracy theorists do u know that

**taire:** hes just! beign! nice!

**bo$$uet:** beign

**joleebee:** beign

**taire:** u 2? heathens

 

**_enjolgay_ ** has sent an IM to  **_GaySquad_ **

 

**enjolgay:** im gonna stop by the store before i pick r up do we need anything??

**mombeferre:** toilet paper

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** an inflatable raft

**enjolgay:** toilet paper check

**enjolgay:** but an inflatable raft?? i need 2 know, why

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** i just thought u and r could use it

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** u know…..cause ur stuck in denile

**enjolgay:** denile

**mombeferre:** DENILE

**mombeferre:** ok that was good ten points to courf

**enjolgay:** _ ha ha _

 

**_enjolgay_ ** has sent an IM to  **_taire_ **

 

**enjolgay:** wassap

**enjolgay:** im stopping by the store before i come for u, u need anything??

**taire:** oh nah i’m good, chetta went shopping last night

**taire:** shes far more reliable than i am she rarely goes off task and buys random garden furniture

**taire:** #never forget

**enjolgay:** u dont have a garden tho right?

**taire:** v. v. v right

**enjolgay:** oH lol omg

**enjolgay:** so ill be like, a half hour

**taire:** no prob man take ur time for realz

**taire:** i owe u big time 4 this

**enjolgay:** for a car ride?

**taire:** u hate driving that thing i know u do

**taire:** u only keep it around for shit like this

**taire:** which is commendable. and i owe u

**enjolgay:** no no NO hush ur face henri

**enjolgay:** u owe me nothing

**taire:** HENRI jfc, who told you

**taire:** was it cosette, i bet it was

**taire:** i feel like i need to apologise for my shitty name

**enjolgay:** wtf no henri is a great name

**enjolgay:** i love the name henri

**enjolgay:** it certainly is a name

**taire:** that it is apollo

**taire:** that it is

 

**_enjolgay_ ** sent an IM to  **_GaySquad_ **

 

**enjolgay:** I SHOULD BE BANNED FROM FLIRTING FOREVER AND EVER AMEN

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:**  wHAT DID YOU D O 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYYYY, the arrival of marius! man i upped the chapter count bc it looks like all of this aint gonna fit in the original plan of five. thank u all for the kind comments n kudos n such u have all been leaving, its really been brightening my days!!
> 
> the usual stuff applies, but with a twist! as always, tip ur local fic writers w comments n kudos, and u can hmu on tumblr @ patroclols!! thats right i changed my url so going to my old one (@ rintaire) won't get u anywhere :vv
> 
> [Support Me on Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/S6S5IQU1)


	5. Chapter 5

**_enjolgay_ ** sent an IM to  **_GaySquad_ **

 

**enjolgay:** I SHOULD BE BANNED FROM FLIRTING

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** wHAT DID YOU D O

**enjolgay:** o shit cant talk gotta drive love u home soon xoxox

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** antoine!!!!

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** wait no ur right dont txt n drive

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** PULL OVER AND TEXT ME WTF

 

**_Xx_cOuRf_xX_ ** has sent an IM to  **_party poopers_ **

 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** has Anyone heard from the terrible twosome tonight

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** or this afternoon ? ? ? 

**joleebee:** why???? are they okay???? did something happen????

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** mmmmmmmmm well as far as i know theyre Fine just Ignoring Me but

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** as far as i know!!!!!!

**mynameismarius:** stop MEDDLING courfeyrac

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** um!!!!!!! UM!!!!!!! EXCUSE ME, PONTMERCY, 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** MEDDLING???? ME????  _ MEDDLING??? _

**joleebee:** what the Heck(™) is going on, heathens

**mynameismarius:** oh my god joly im sorry if this BUTT has u worried

**mynameismarius:** enjolras texted him about being bad at flirting 

**mynameismarius:** and didnt give  _ immediate information  _

**mynameismarius:** so ofc now hes going Off

**mynameismarius:** …..

**mynameismarius:** u guys have been typing on n off for a real long time wtf r u doing

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** marius, u sweet awkward land mermaid

**joleebee:** oh my gosh hon this is the group chat

**mynameismarius:** well?? yeah??

**mynameismarius:** o

**mynameismarius:** OH SHIT HOW DO U DELETE MESSAGES

**mynameismarius:** i mean im sure r wont assume hes trying to flirt with HIM 

**mynameismarius:** right??

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** this is a trainwreck

 

**_fee_ ** took a screenshot of the chat  **_party poopers_ **

 

**mynameismarius:** oh m y g o d

**mynameismarius:** IDK HOW TO DELETE THE ME SSAG ES

 

**_enjolgay_ ** has sent an IM to  **_GaySquad_ **

 

**enjolgay:** hey

**enjolgay:** im going to to stay here 

**enjolgay:** and ur going to teach marius how to delete those messages

**enjolgay:** bc i love him and i dont want him to feel bad/embarassed

**enjolgay:** and then im going to come in the gc and be like. haha whatd i miss

**enjolgay:** and ur gonna give an excuse and im gonna go with it

**enjolgay:** grantaire hasnt checked his phone yet

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** AYE AYE CAPN IM SORRY BTW OH MY GOSH

 

**_enjolgay_ ** has sent an IM to  **_party poopers_ **

 

**enjolgay:** haha omg whatd i miss

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** party planning secrets, in case the ~dreamy duo~ somehow get wifi and get on the chat

**enjolgay:** OH thats a smart decision 

**mynameismarius:** hi enjolras i love u

**enjolgay:** hi marius i love u 2

 

**_mynameismarius_ ** has sent an IM to  **_Xx_cOuRf_xX_ **

 

**mynameismarius:** THANK U THANK U THANK U

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** anytime hon xoxoxo

 

**_taire_ ** has sent an IM to  **_party poopers_ **

 

**taire:** whoa thats a whole lotta deleted messages up there ya weirdos

**enjolgay:** we’re covering tracks in case jehan n baz get online and see we planned a party for em

**taire:** o shit thats a good idea those nosey fuqkers would defo be on that

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** how was getting ur shit from studios r

**taire:** it was good!!

**taire:** i mean nothing got torn or dirty or whatever cause enjolras has like

**taire:** a RIDICULOUSLY clean car

**taire:** like a car in a commercial 

**enjolgay:** “”””ridiculously clean car”””” 

**enjolgay:** you certainly helped me change that

**taire:** um?? i was NOT the one who got the seat all sticky

**taire:** that was u monsieur

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:**  EXCUSE ME

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:**  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**mynameismarius:** um

**fee:** gross, guys

**taire:** jesus CHRIST not like that

**taire:** minds out of the gutter, lads

**taire:** my god enjolras are u BLUSHING

**fee:** wait are you 2 still together

**enjolgay:** ya we’re at r’s

**joleebee:** HAVE YOU BEEN PRACTICING UNSAFE PROCEDURES IN A CAR GRANTAIRE

**taire:** NO I HAVE NOT!!!

**taire:** and wtf enjolras was there 2 

**enjolgay:** jfc guys grantaire convinced me to stop for food, i spilled my drink all over my seat, 

**enjolgay:** thats all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**bo$$uet:** this is the funniest thing ive ever read

 

**_joleebee_ ** has sent an IM to  **_meme me up (meme me up inside)_ **

 

**joleebee:** so 

**taire:** so

**bo$$uet:** so

**taire:** mmmmMMMMMM

**taire:** he Insisted on buying my food, i was like wtf dude

**taire:** i can pay its fine u DROVE ME HERE in ur CAR as a FAVOUR 

**taire:** and he was like, why does that affect my right 2 pay for food

**taire:** i cannot with this man!! wtf!! whys he so!! Like That!!!

**joleebee:** some people are just naturally very caring and sincere

**bo$$uet:** like u

**joleebee:** o: wtf no u 

**bo$$uet:** no U 

**taire:** ur both very caring and sincere 

**joleebee:** wTF NO U

**bo$$uet:** YA U!!!

**taire:** WE R TRAPPED IN A ~~CYCLE~~ HERE

**joleebee:** ur right ur right 

**joleebee:** wat were we talkin abt

**taire:** how enjolras is very caring and sincere and lovely and uhhhhh general sunshine

**joleebee:** gay

**bo$$uet:** bi actually

**joleebee:** o shit u right

**taire:** GUYS

**taire:** hes sitting there talking to me abt his fuckn cat and its. the cutest thing ever

**joleebee:** DONT B FUCKN RUDE GET OFF UR PHONE

**taire:** no shh im “”in the bathroom”” rn so

**bo$$uet:** 6’3 240 lb hockey player henri grantaire hides in bathroom from 5’6 90 lbs when wet cat man

**taire:** LET ME LIVE BOSSUET 

**taire:** he is a cat man tho. and its adorable. and hes adorable

**taire:** f u q c

 

**_enjolgay_ ** has sent an IM to  **_GaySquad_ **

 

**enjolgay:** oh my god okay hes gone to the batrhoom

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** batrhoom

**mombeferre:** batrhoom

**enjolgay:** GENTLEMEN PLEASE

**enjolgay:** he started looking at me, with his eyes

**enjolgay:** his EYES which are so. THEYRE SUCH GOOD EYES JFC

**enjolgay:** and i lost it and started rambling abt batcat

**mombeferre:** oh my god

**mombeferre:** enjolras you know what u need to do

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** thats SO CUTE how are u two such a cute couple without being like

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** yknow, an ACTUAL COUPLE 

**enjolgay:** ssSHHSHHHH 

**enjolgay:** idk guys i was Prepared to just give it up and stay friends

**enjolgay:** but today was so much fun and all we did was drive and chat and eat

**enjolgay:** standard human things! but nothing seems!! standard!! when hes doing it w me!!

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** THIS IS SO CUTE I CANT

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:**  I CANT I CANT I CANT 

**enjolgay:** o shit hes coming back ok ok 

**mombeferre:** im glad ur happy, E

**enjolgay:** me too

**enjolgay:** ok talk later xox

 

**_Xx_cOuRf_xX_** has sent an IM to **_joleebee_**

 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** dude

**joleebee:** i know bro 

**joleebee:** i know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER FIVE......everyone seems awful happy if a lil flustered.....could this be the calm before the storm???
> 
> as always im INSANELY grateful @ everyone who reads/comments/leaves kudos! yall are the best, and u can still hmu on tumblr @ jehanprouvaiire! (and this is for anything-- prompts, headcanons, general screaming B)) )


	6. Chapter 6

**plantvaire:** greetings binches

**fee:** AYYYY THEY LIVE

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** good morning sunshine r u still jetlagged

**plantvaire:** mhm but im cured talking to my motley crew, london was lovely but i missed u all very much cccc:

**enjolgay:** MY BINCH WHATS UPPPPP

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** did enjolras just say binch

**enjolgay:** o shit no lol this is r i have his phone hi

**enjolgay:** e’s driving but he says “hi prouvaire, hope you slept well!”

**enjolgay:** but what the up is fuck my dudes 

**plantvaire:** i did thank u UwU

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** i have…...so many questions…

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** y r u in enjolras’ car???? y are u awake before midday

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** whats his passcode for future sabotage

**enjolgay:** 1) we’re goin party supply shopping c) bc i am a human who can occaisonally if the mood strikes have a vague ambition towards being functional 7) no fuc u

**bo$$uet:** again with ur weird ass system

**enjolgay:** aight we’re at the store catch u bitches l8r

 

**_plantvaire_ ** has sent an IM to  **_Xx_cOuRf_xX_ **

 

**plantvaire:** did i MISS something

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** wa  
  
**plantvaire:** our dearest leader and artist????? SHOPPING together????

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** OH HAHA LMAO I KNOW RIGHT

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** its freaky as hell right enj drove him home from studios like a week ago or smth

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** n since then theyve been all…………….im gonna say mushy

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** like they swear nthn happened but theres been some hardcore flirting + im suspish

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** and i also missed u my darling prouvaire

**plantvaire:** ¬¬ ill keep my eyes open for any more ¬¬ flirting between those 2 ¬¬

**plantvaire:** did u miss me or did marius stop driving u around places so u wanna beg a ride off me

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** ……………………………..both

**plantvaire:** c: i missed u lot too

 

**_mombeferre_** has sent an IM to **_Party Poopers_**

 

**mombeferre:** jesus christ that must be those 2 back from the store?/

**fee:** normalcy is restored i guess??

**joleebee:** WHAT is going on

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** “GO AHEAD ROLL UR EYES LIKE THATS GONNA SOLIDFY UR POINT”

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** ^^ enjolras

**joleebee:** oh r they/….yelling

**fee:** i dont think they know we’re here we’re watching hunt 4 mothman on netflix in ferres room

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** “I DONT NEED TO DEFEND MY LIFE CHOICES TO A COFFEE ADDICT”

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** idek what theyre yelling abt now but i can tell its stupid

**mombeferre:** ://// if i miss the data findings 4 their trip 2 washington i swear……

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** “GOD FORBID I SHOW SOME CONCERN FOR MY FRIEND”

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** i think i can guess what theyre arguing abt

**fee:** i thought they agreed that drinking/overworking were both off the table topics

**mombeferre:** they did i remember the grudging handshake in front of the tv when i was tryna watch high school musical

**joleebee:** :ccccc someone go stop them before they go too far on each other 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** lol im not going near that

**mombeferre:** seconded it sounds p vitriolic in there

**fee:** ya i value my life so…..no

**plantvaire:** ill do it if u cowards want

**fee:** o no hon u dont need to come over for that

**plantvaire:** im here lol im on the roof looking @ ferres plants

**mombeferre:** how did u get on the roof of our building w/out us knowing

**mombeferre:** no u know what…..i dont even wanna know

**plantvaire:** ;3

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** “THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT ENJOLRAS U KNOW THAT”

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** yall know that vine thats like HOW DO U KNOW WHATS BEST FOR ME

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** THATS MY OPINIOOOOOOON

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** thats basically this fight

**fee:** @@@ jehan hon id really advise against it but ferres window is open if u wanna firescape in here

**plantvaire:** mothman? heck yes brb

**joleebee:** im Concerned yall they were doing so well

 

**_mombeferre_ ** has sent an IM to  **_GaySquad_ **

 

**mombeferre:** everything okay out there E??

**mombeferre:** we’re in the bedroom n we can hear u both yelling 

 

**mombeferre:** E???

 

**_joleebee_ ** has sent an IM to  **_meme me up (meme me up inside)_ **

 

**joleebee:** u good over there taire??? 

**joleebee:** ferre says theres some considerable yelling :c

 

**_fee_ ** has sent an IM to  **_Party Poopers_ **

 

**fee:** w   o    w  

**fee:** hey marius is bringing baz straight back here from the airport right

**mombeferre:** yup i think so

**fee:** oh my god welcome home baby heres two yelling assholes

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** i have a plan we play beyonce, the one the only bopalicious queen b, super duper ear shatteringly loud, and they drop everything to shake it to the queens hot jams and thus their weird ass sexual tension disguised as mega beef is over

**fee:** oh my god

**joleebee:** tag urself im “hot jams”

**bo$$uet:** im “bopalicious queen b”

 

**_bo$$uet_ ** has changed his name to  **_bopalicious queen B_ **

 

**mombeferre:** im “drop everything to shake it”

**fee:** im “mega beef”

**joleebee:** ….ew

**fee:** ;D

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** YALL CAN MOCK BUT U KNOW ITD WORK!!!!!!

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** also im “weird ass sexual tension”

 

**_mynameismarius_ ** has sent an IM to  **_Party Poopers_ **

 

**mynameismarius:** hey yall just checking in!! bazs flight just got in, he should be out soon and we’ll head back :D see u all soon!!

**fee:** thanks marius….ur a star…..i really wouldve come w u if id known my shift was gonna end early xxx

**mynameismarius:** not a problem bro!!! i just saw my buddy chad from college! wild!

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** god…...ur so good marius…..ur so pure….remain this way forever pls….i love n cherish u

**mynameismarius:** cool! love u too bro! see yall later

**mombeferre:** see u later, marius

 

**\--**

 

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** HOW are they still yelling

**plantvaire:** ive written out a transcript of this fight 4 preservation purposes

**plantvaire:** my favorite parts so far are “JUST ACCEPT THAT PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU” and “YOU ARE A BUTTWAFFLE”

**plantvaire:** those 2 comments r nonrelated im p sure he called him a buttwaffle bc he started talking abt marxism agn

**bopalicious queen B:** tbh what could have happened to have started this shitshow

**plantvaire:** from what ive garnered from this ATROCIOUS yelling what happened is THIS

**plantvaire:** ;; r made one of his jokes-but-are-they-really-jokes abt his ?health? ?drinking? ?general self worth?

**plantvaire:** ;; enjolras did that thing where he cares aggressively abt someone

**plantvaire:** ;; somehow, SOMEHOW, theyre arguing about it

**mombeferre:** how do we even function w/out jehan around like u left 4 a week how are we all still alive

**plantvaire:** :** gods only know but i love u all

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** NO SHHSHHSHSHSHHSHSHSHS 

**mombeferre:** we’re typing baby no one is making any noise

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** do u hear that?? silence???

**fee:** jesus WHAT was that thud

**joleebee:** oh my god did they finally actually kill each other

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** HAHAHA JESUS CHRIST WHATS GOING IN THERE

**mombeferre:** JFC I ALMIST SHAT MYSELF IS THAT MARIUS

**fee:** BAZ IS HOME WHYS HE YELLING AGAIN

**joleebee:** WHATS GOING ON!!!

**fee:** no thats it im going 2 see my boyfriend the other 2 can choke im gonna see whats goin on

**joleebee:** WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!

**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** oooooohmygod

**mombeferre:** i,,, jesus

**joleebee:** WHAT! IS!HAPPENING!!

**joleebee:** HELLO!!!

**joleebee:** G U Y S

 

**plantvaire:** oh my god

**plantvaire:** from what i heard, and saw, and im only telling u this so u can aid r when he gets back,

**plantvaire:** saw with mine OWN TWO EYES

**plantvaire:** and bahorel can back me up here

**plantvaire:** the weird silence and thud we heard, was the fast paced transition from those two fighting to the death to making out on the floor

**joleebee:** UM WHAT

**bopalicious queen B:** W H A T

**plantvaire:** IM NOT DONE

**plantvaire:** so we heard marius and baz come in, and the scream (which was marius) then fee left and we could see thru like, the open door

**plantvaire:** grantaire fuckn SHOT UP ive never seen him move that fast in my life, a considerable feat since he was literally underneath enjolras

**plantvaire:** said HEY MAN to baz, patted his arm and bolted

**plantvaire:** (enjolras has a hickey)

**plantvaire:** baz is trying (and failing) really hard not to laugh his ass off

**joleebee:** w o w

**bopalicious queen B:** o shit i think thats r home

**joleebee:** we’ll regroup later kay

**plantvaire:** mkay booboo keep urself hydrated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of these guys make really questionable life choices, much like the choice i made not to edit this bc its 2am and im tired
> 
> as always a big thank u to everyone who has read this far, pls tip ur fic writers w comments/kudos, and u can hit me up on tumblr @jehanprouvaiire!


	7. Chapter 7

**bopalicious queen B** has sent an IM to **_taire_ **

 

 **bopalicious queen B:** u okay booboo

 **joleebee:** i know ur music taste is eclectic r but bb brunes really

 **taire:** um first of all fuq u, hold thy tongue lest i go back 2 lana del rey hmmm

 **joleebee:** :///////

 **bopalicious queen B:** but for srs

 **joleebee:** u know we’re here if u need to talk abt it

 **taire:** 1\. its creepy when u do the finishing each others sentences thing

 **taire:** 2\. what would i need 2 talk abt?? how tragique it is that i forgot to do laundry??

 **joleebee:** mhm or that entire thing with enjolras just now

 **taire:** what?? idk what ur talking abt. enjolras? i dont know her. entire thing? ive never left this apartment in my Life

 **bopalicious queen B:** _h e n r  i_

 **taire:** henri? i dont know her

 **joleebee:** :cc we’re not gonna Force u to communicate healthily but we’re around if u need it okay

 **taire:** ik. ur both 2 good 4 me

 **bopalicious queen B:** such flattery….

 **taire:** hush

 **taire:** i just!! idk, idk what happened but. idk! hes a really good kisser and i :))) crave a drink :))))

**joleebee:**

**joleebee:** mkay WELL ur still coming to the party tonight right

 **bopalicious queen B:** the answer here is yes

 **taire:** o is it rlly

 **joleebee:** yes binch dont make us kidnap u

 **taire:** well in that case i guess ya i am

 **joleebee:** jehan will be glad c:

 **taire:** hmmmm u only want me there for my fabulous charades skills and u know it

 **joleebee:** lies n slander

 **joleebee:** altho….now u mention it…..dibs on u for teams

 

 **_Xx_cOuRf_xX_ ** has sent an IM to **_GaySquad_ **

 

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** hwhwhwhwhwhwhat just mcfucking happened

 **mombeferre:** translation: what just happened

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** HE KNOWS WHAT IM SAYING REGINALD

 **mombeferre:** oh are we pulling out first names now claude!!!!!! are we rlly!!!

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** SHSHSHSHSHHHSHH LETS GET BACK TO THE MATTER AT HAND

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** what the mcfuck just happened

 **enjolgay:** i kissed him

 **enjolgay:** like on the mouth. not like hi hello kiss like “i want to have ur children even tho its biologically impossible and also im too young to be a father and also we’re not in a relationship but still” kind of way

 **mombeferre:** hm

 **mombeferre:** i see

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** WHAT HE MEANS TO SAY IS HE WANTS TO TAP THAT ASS

 **enjolgay:** NO

 **enjolgay:** i want to tap that intellectual being

 **mombeferre:** very egalitarian of u

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** AND YOU MADE OUT WITH HIM YOU PLAYED TONSIL HOCKEY

 **enjolgay:** disgusting, we did not

 **enjolgay:** well i mean he is a hockey player but

 **mombeferre:** GOOD LORD

 **enjolgay:** GOD I DONT KNOW IT JUST HAPPENED WE WERE YELLING AND THEN WE, WERENT DOING THAT ANYMORE ON THE FLOOR

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** on the FLOOR jesus CHRIST ferre our son is all grown up :’’’’)

 **mombeferre:** im so proud…….

 **enjolgay:** THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING

 **enjolgay:** r is like……..a deer

 **mombeferre:** are you trying to tell us something

 **enjolgay:** NO LISTEN HES LIKE A DEER

 **enjolgay:** and marius barging in on us was the brutal deforestation and environmental ignorance and pollution that made him startle and run off

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** im 100000% sure thats not how that analogy goes but go on

 **enjolgay:** WELL HE RAN OFF and hes going to be doing the grantaire thing(™)

 **mombeferre:** hmmmm i see ur point

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** i dont what r u talking abt!!!!!!!! what Grantaire Thing(™)

 **enjolgay:** YOU KNOW THE THING WHERE HE THINKS AND SHOULDNT BC HES GOING TO CONCLUDE THAT I ONLY,, DID THAT, TO SHUT HIM UP, WHEN IN REALITY WHERE REAL PEOPLE LIVE IT WAS BECAUSE HES SMART AND THATS HOT

 **mombeferre:** oh my god

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** oh THAT thing

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** but why would he think that??? dude??? hes so stupid over u

 **enjolgay:** name the last time he was in a relationship that was fair to him

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** he was with montparnasse a while

 **enjolgay:** first of all dont say that name in this chat thanks, second of all does it count as dating if one is part vampire, third of all they broke up every other day that hardly constitutes a healthy functioning relationship now does it

 **mombeferre:** jealousy thy name is enjolras much???? “”part vampire”” jfc

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** stand Down good lord

 **enjolgay:** NO MY POINT IS!!!! i kissed him out of Nowhere and whilst we had a gr8 time till pontmercy happened i Guarantee he will not take it as an “i like u” kind of thing

 **enjolgay:** and i like him!!! so what do i Do ur always tryna get up in my business im giving u full permission to get up in here and help me, untangle this web made weak by environmental damage and climate change

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** again nowhere near the way that analogy is supposed to go

 **mombeferre:** i mean joly says he’ll be at the party so you two can talk then?? face to face??

 **Xx_cOurf_xX:** mouth to mouth

 **mombeferre:** **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 **enjolgay:** YOU TWO SUCK  


**_enjolgay_ ** has sent an IM to **_taire_ **

 

 **enjolgay:** hey

 **taire:** , hey

 **enjolgay:** so remember that time we were arguing and i kissed you and then marius happened and you ran off

 **taire:** oh my god enjolras

 **taire:** u mean the thing that happened literally a few hours ago

 **taire:** yeah i remember that

 **enjolgay:** okay well i just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page

 **taire:** what are u typing out a novel there its fine enjolras dont worry about it

 **taire:** i get it i do its okay we were both in an emotional place

 **taire:** these things happen, consider it erased from my memory, have no regrets

 **enjolgay:** what

 **enjolgay:** oh my god okay right see this is why i had to make sure we’re on the same page here

 **enjolgay:** i knew this would happen i KNEW it

 **taire:** , what, what are u talking about,

 **enjolgay:** okay just!!!!!  i have none

 **enjolgay:** regrets i mean, about kissing you, unless you do, bc the last thing i want is to make you uncomfortable, bc i value u greatly as a friend and citizen of france and human being, and i dont want to force my feelings on u, at all, but

 **enjolgay:** i liked kissing you and. would like to do it again. if u have no objections

 **taire:** ur not forcing anything on me dont worry about it it was a good kiss

 **taire:** 10/10 would kiss again

 **taire:** always knew u were the secret booty call type ;;;)

 **enjolgay:** im NOT

 **taire:** no shame in it lord knows im no stranger to it

 **enjolgay:** give me strength

 **enjolgay:** now listen CLOSELY read ALL THE WORDS IM TYPING

 **enjolgay:** i dont want u to be a booty call grantaire

 **enjolgay:** i mean like. kissing on a date

 **enjolgay:** and maybe a relationship in which we kiss and STOP TYPING LET ME FINISH

 **enjolgay:** a relationship in which we kiss and debate and talk and i value u for ur intelligence as well as ur looks and u do the same for me

 **taire:** so like, not a friends with benefits thing, ,,,

 **enjolgay:** not a friends with benefits thing

 **enjolgay:** again i dont want to force my feelings on u if u dont want any of that thats fine

 **enjolgay:** just putting all my cards made from recycled and ethically sourced materials on the table

 **taire:** are u sure thats how that phrase goes

 **enjolgay:** h e n r i

 **enjolgay:** be serious

 **taire:** but im a wild child(™)

 **taire:** no okay im sorry hold on just let my brain uhhhhhh process all this

 **enjolgay:** no rush

 **taire:** okay okay okay

 **taire:** okay

 **taire:** are u like. sure

 **enjolgay:** im like, sure

 **taire:** okay okay um. im going to try and not be self deprecating so uh

 **taire:** god um. okay so 1) dont feel like ur forcing any feelings on me when we both know im uhhhhh Gone over u

 **taire:** STOP TYPING ITS MY TURN

 **taire:** okay uh b) ive had a great time lately like. i dont know just. hanging out with u and honestly that didnt help how Gone i am over u bc wow ur, Wow,

 **taire:** 5) jfc yes ofc i would like to kiss u on a date and then maybe again in a relationship in which we kiss and debate and talk and value each other for intelligence as well as looks even tho i dont have much of either of those

 **enjolgay:** U SAID NO SELF DEPRECATION

 **enjolgay:** also what system are u using that goes from 1 to b to 5

 **taire:** ITS NOT SELF DEPRECATION IF ITS FACTUAL!!!! and jfc yall are really coming for my systems lately huh

 **enjolgay:** ur v pretty and v smart and a million other things too that i will tell u at the party later. including cute ur cute and also good at hockey

 **enjolgay:** real hockey not tonsil hockey

 **enjolgay:** altho ur good at that too. thats courfs word btw not mine i dont call kissing tonsil hockey

 **enjolgay:** c: c: c: <\--- imagine me making that face as i say these things okay

 **taire:** AW SHUCKS!!!! ur making me blush

 **enjolgay:** c: good

 **enjolgay:** listen ive gotta go and get shit ready for this party but!!!!! ill see u there??

 **taire:** u sure will c:

 **enjolgay:** its a date c:

 

* * *

 

**EPILOGUE**

 

 **_Xx_cOuRf_xX_ ** has sent an IM to **_DONT BE LATE FOR MY FUCKING DINNER PARTY_ **

 

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** HAAAAAAAAA

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** GUESS WHAT EARLY BIRDS I JUST OPENED THE DOOR TO

 **mombeferre:** beyonce and solange

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** god i wish

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** anyway this is in the gc to #name and shame

 **enjolgay:** :///  
  
**Xx_cOuRf_xX:** i open the door to innocently welcome our guests

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR

 **taire:** spare me

 **mombeferre:** i think i can guess

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** TWO HEATHENS! MAKING OUT AGAINST MY DOOR! FALL INTO MY APARTMENT!

 **enjolgay:** we didnt FALL

 **taire:** it was a controlled short flight towards the ground

 **enjolgay:** do u think i have the time to be concentrating on doors, claude

 **enjolgay:** i have MUCH BETTER THINGS to be concentrating on

 **taire:** yeah like robespierre

 **taire:** and also me

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** and the floor apparently : ))))

 **taire:** touche

 **enjolgay:** ur just jealous bc i get to make out w my gorgeous boyfriend against doors while ur cooking

 **taire:** and on floors too

 **taire:** a bad habit of ours admittedly

 **enjolgay:** are u complaining

 **taire:** not even a litte bit ;)

 **fee:** gross

 **bazzz:** i second that

 **mombeferre:** third

 **bopalicious queen B:** fourth

 **joleebee:** fifth

 **mynameismarius:** wow! love is so cute!

 **plantvaire:** sixth

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** ITS BEEN SIX MONTHS UR NOT SUPPOSED TO STILL BE THIS INTO EACH OTHER

 **taire:**  ah let us be in love

 **mombeferre:** stop acting like ur not trash #1 for them

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** sigh

 **Xx_cOuRf_xX:** smh hes right. im trash #1 for u two god i hope ur relationship continues to prosper

 **taire:** thanks courf c:

 **enjolgay:**  thank u for ur support citizen. dont let that stew burn

 **enjolgay:** while im here @@@@ r hey guess what

 **taire:** what??

 **enjolgay:** i love u c:

 **taire:** AW

 **taire:** wtf. i love u too c: <333

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it guys! the end! its been Quite a Wild Ride. thank u so much to everyone who read thus far, left kudos or a kind comment or sent me an ask abt this fic on tumblr!! yall are the best and im super blessed. i hope this final chapter hasnt disappointed!
> 
> as always u can find me on tumblr @ patroclols!! <3 <3 <3
> 
> [Support Me on Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/S6S5IQU1)


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